When I was younger I thought that I would get married very young, basically right out of highschool, and start having lots of babies right off the bat. Well here I am 6yrs later and none of that has happened. I've made quite a few life changing decisions in my life and have yet to really stick with any of them. I just feel like I'm stuck in this place between being a child and an adult. I've done adult things such as start school, get my own place, live with a guy, buy a car, etc. but I still just don't feel like an adult. I never know what I want without a doubt. Maybe I thought life would just be a fairy tale and everything would work itself out and be perfect. There's no such thing as a fairy tale though. There's no prince charming, no castle and nothing is just handed to you for free.
I've never truly believed that any guy was the one. I may have thought a couple were, but then in a split second I am brought back down to reality when another guy catches my eye. I don't know why I do that to myself, am I trying to set myself up for failure? Or am I just making myself realize that I'm not completely satisfied and I just ended up settling?
Is it wrong to want a guy to buy me gifts from time to time to show me that he cares? Or do what I want to do on a Saturday night? Or let me win something every once in a while? I do all of those things for guys and I know if I didn't then the relationship wouldn't work or even exist. I want to feel wanted and loved when I show someone those same emotions. Maybe guys just work differently than girls. I just want my feelings and emotions to be returned.